A couple years ago I embarked on the journey of living from the inside out. My lightbulb moment came while I was doing some landscaping in the front yard. I spent money I didn't budget for on new beautiful flowers and I heard a voice say, "who are you doing this for?" I was busy beautifying the front yard while there was a pile of laundry to be folded, dinner to me made and boys that wanted to play with me. In that moment I stopped and decided that I would live authentically. I would no longer try to do things to appear lovely to others but would focus on the inside--the inside of my heart, home, family and life in general.
My first focus was onto myself. Why was I trying so hard to be liked, affirmed and accepted? What happened in my life that caused me so much to yearn for others to like me? It's been a process but I decided to let go of my childhood hurt and to love myself the way I wanted to be loved by others. I started to speak more kindly to myself, spend quality time with myself and to do the things that truly make me happy.
Family was my next focus. I recently heard a pastor say that we should live our lives for the people that will be at the front row of our funeral. He added that most people come for the fried chicken at the repast and leave. LOL. Isn’t that the truth! Spending time with and loving my husband and boys is my main focus. I want to take advantage of every precious moment and bestow more love, patience and kindness onto them than on anyone else. I'll be darned if I show more love to a rude customer service person than to my family. My sweetness is now focused on them! I'm also taking more time to pick up the phone and call my parents and siblings. When it's all said and done they are always there.
I also changed focus on my friendships. I was over all that fake Facebook stuff where I had a ton of friends but no true connection. I'm not saying that Facebook is bad but on my journey to achieve authenticity I've loved so much spending time with real friends that I can touch, vibe and grow with.
There is also a change in my work life. I don't deal well with politically correct answers and any form of maneuvering around issues anymore. Authenticity has allowed me to break out of my shell and address difficult topics and have those hard conversations because without them we never grow.
Overall I'm way happier! I still care about appearances...not going to lie! If my friend calls right now and says that she's coming over in 10 minutes, I'll quickly tidy up to put on an appearance of a clean house but hey...I'm a work in progress.
Top: TJ MAXX - SIMILAR HERE
Denim Jacket: TARGET Skirt: NORDSTROM RACK - SIMILAR HERE
Shoes: BIRLINGTON COAT FACTORY - SIMILAR HERE
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