Valentine's Day Style & Tips to Spark Romance

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Last night we went to dinner with 3 other couples and a question came up. Can love be lost...can the fire burn out? How do couples who've been married for 50 years decide that they no longer love each other? This year marks an 8 year anniversary for my husband and I. Although I still consider us babies in love here are some tips for sparking romance and growing in love.

1. Communication - My mind and mouth can go a mile a minute; however, I've learned how to more effectively communicate with my husband. He is steady, not being a multitask-er also applies to communication for most men-- especially when it's a heavy conversation  I've learned not to bring up more than one topic at a time. Bringing up hard topics where one party might feel badly is challenging. Find the right time and it say it anyway. Say how you feel in the most respectful way...never hold it in. Honest conversations can first be extremely challenging, feelings can get hurt, words can be misunderstood but at the end another level of love can be reached. What you first understand as weakness can be in reality an understanding of immense love. What you first understand as disrespect in effect can be fear and anxiety. Ride the wave, have difficult conversations, refuse to go to bed angry. Go deeper.

Another issue for most couples is that one tend to not share their feelings. Maybe in their original family they were not encouraged to speak up or feelings where seen as weakness. This does not work in a marriage. Your spouse needs to know how you feel. For some they may truly not have the words to use to express their feelings. I find a good solution is to ask, "How do you feel?" If they say "I don't know" you can say you look disappointed, angry or sad..give them words and listen to there response. Truly show that you care.

2. New Experiences - Travel, eat at a new restaurant, take a new dance class, go to a concert, go camping for the first time, learn to cook a new dish together, try an activity that you've always wanted to do but never got the chance to. Variety is the spice of life and doing the same thing day in and day out can bring tension. Doing a new thing together releases stress and brings you closer.

3. Share Hobbies - I remember as a daughter I would just be at the side of my dad. He could be gardening or fixing a car--I would be right there asking a bunch of questions and handing him his tools, seeds or whatever he needed just to be close to him. This type of true inquisitiveness in another person's hobby or work bonds you closer.

My husband is a technology buff. He can spend all day at Fry's or Best Buy. He gets joy from shooting and editing videos and understanding proper audio. It's truly not my thing but I stand by. While he's editing videos in his office I sit on a chair beside him. I am now genuinely interested in his productions.

Gardening isn't my husbands thing either but he walks through the garden with me asking about what different vegetables, helps me load manure and wood chips and sometimes use his technology to capture the moments in the garden. It makes my heart so happy that we share in each others' joys. 

4. Spice It Up - Love making is the most essential tool to continue to spark romance. It brings us closer and love is shared in a deeper way. I've heard that the climaxes in love releases hormones that bond you together--so spice it up! Buy new lingerie, set out to make your bedroom a retreat from all the noise of life and work. After a disappointing day for a man--may it be finances, not getting a job or his performance being questioned, there is no other confidence booster than knowing that his wife wants him and he's the King of her world. After the birth of a child or weight gain there is no other confidence booster than a husband still desiring his wife.

5. Pray together - We are not able to make it work alone. Praying together lets both of us know that we have help. We pray for our kids, big and small decisions, finances, our extended family, our marriage and can fill a book with the goodness of God and the miracles He's performed. You are not alone.

Lace Top ~ Etiquette ~ Similar
Skirt ~ Etiquette ~ Similar
Shoes ~ DSW ~ Similar   
Lipstick ~ Flat Out Fabulous by MAC 

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